Emma's Nonsense
by JMolover13
Summary: An AU story about a teenage Emma Swan and Regina Mills in Storybrooke. They've been fighting, but that doesn't stop Emma from scaling the side of her house just to see her.


**Rating: T**

**Word Count: ~2700**

**Anonymous asked you: Teenage Emma and Regina where emma always sneeks into reginas bedroom and the almost get caught because emma has hormones like a 16yr old boy.**

**AN: This one is obviously AU, but I've decided to put this one in SB on top of the already obvious AU-ness… And I decided that instead of 'almost', they do… Hope you enjoy!**

Emma stood on the sidewalk outside the Mayoral Mansion. She examined each room and each of the lights on inside before she decided on her route. Regina's room was (thankfully) on the other side of the house to that of her parents, the Mayor and Mr. Mayor, the husband.

She climbed the fence and gently eased herself onto the ground it wasn't long before she heard the steady beat of paws headed her way. She turned from the fence and found the two fully grown, fully trained, ready-to-kill-her-Dobermans with their ears perked and growls about to turn to barks. She came prepared though. She had in her pocket some of their favorite treats.

"Hello ladies." She said quietly.

The dogs knew Emma was not a threat; she'd been around their smallest human enough for them to know her, but they weren't sure why she was sneaking in now. She'd done it a lot in the daytime, but why the nighttime? They resolved themselves to stick their ground.

Emma rolled her eyes and dug for the treats, "Alright fine…" She mumbles the next few words, "Couple of bitches." She grinned at her horrible pun before she looked back to them, "Bette? Babs? You two need to be quiet, okay? If you're quiet I'll give you a cookie. You want a cookie?"

Both sets of ears perked, and both heads cocked to the side when they heard the word. They knew that word. Bette caved first, she ran in a small circle before sitting like a good dog for the small, blonde, lady human. Babs looked over to Bette before deciding she wanted the treat as well; she plopped down with less enthusiasm.

Emma grinned a closed-mouth, mischievous grin, "Good bitches." She placed the cookies on their noses, holding her hand up telling them to stay still until finally relenting, "Good doggies." She patted her legs and the two Dobermans tossed the treats in the air with a nod of their head and ate the treats. Bette was the first to thank the blonde human, "Oh, Bette. You're such a fatty, aren't you? Yes." She pet the dogs head and face then was interrupted by Babs, "Oh Babs! You are a fatty too, yes you are!" She let the intimidating dogs lay down and scratched their stomachs, "You know I only call you bitches because I like the pun, right? You're not human bitches, not to me anyways. You're such good doggies." She stood up and made her way to the house.

The dogs followed her around to the back where Regina's room was. She'd climbed the house before, but never to Regina's room. It had always seemed impossible. She'd always climbed her way into the game room. But that was when Regina knew she was coming. So, she was going to have to figure it out for herself.

She looked into the separated pool house, the moon catching the still water of the indoor pool. Then she looked at the furniture in the outdoor fireplace just outside the pool house as she walked up the stairs to the main floor of the house where the larger back patio was. She needed to get up yet another story though. She looked to the roof of the pool house and then at Regina's balcony, which always seemed just a hair out of her jumping distance.

The blonde clapped and rubbed her hands together, "This is gonna happen ladies; glad I can entertain if nothing else." She said to the dogs as she climbed on the patio railing before jumping and pulling herself—more like scrambling—on top of the pool house's roof. She stood on the angle and stared at the closest part of Regina's balcony. She looked down to the dogs, who were watching with rapt attention.

She gulped a hesitant breath before taking a leap of faith—literally—and by the grace of whatever god was watching, she found her hands coming in contact with the railing of her love's balcony. She pulled herself up completely and shuffled over the edge to what she thought was the safe side of the closed-off space. It was supposed to be the safe side at least. But, as she was taking a second to recover and let her heart rate drop back to a reasonable level the door opened and a text book was thrown at her.

"OW! What the hell?!" She started, but wasn't heard by the attacker as another book came for her head and a plastic guitar—normally used for Guitar Hero—started beating her stomach. "Fuck! Regina!" She finally had enough sense to grab the guitar and tug so that the brunette fell forward.

"No! Get off me!" Regina pushed and tried to pull her weapon with her when she finally saw the burglar's face. "Emma?"

"Jesus… remind me never to cross you in a dark alley…" Emma sat up a little.

"Emma…" Regina dropped the guitar and knelt down before her, "I thought you were an axe murderer coming to kill me…"

"So, you decided to defend yourself with books and a controller of a game? Instead of go get your parents?"

Regina bit her lip and looked around, "Uhh… I guess my instinct is fight not flight…" Emma shook her head and watched as Regina started inspecting her over, "Did I get you too bad?"

"No, Baby you didn't get me too bad." She grinned, "I'm sorry I scared you."

Regina smiled and nodded about to tell her it was fine before a thought came over her, "Wait I'm mad at you!"

"Babe! Please! I just scaled the side of your house and took a beating!"

Regina, who had been gathering her books and controller set them inside on her desk and crossed her arms, "So?"

"So?" Emma heaved herself onto her feet, "That's how you're gonna talk to me after all this?"

"Yes." Regina turned to shut her sliding door, but the blonde moved a little too fast and was inside too. "Get out."

"Get out?"

"Yes," Regina didn't look at the blonde behind her, "Go away."

"Go away?" Emma was inches from Regina's back, her breaths hot against the brunette's hair.

"Stop doing that." Regina's voice was merely a whisper.

"Stop doing what?"

"Repeating everything I say to make me stop being mad."

Emma smirked, "Am I repeating everything you say?"

The brunette turned around unimpressed.

Emma's smirk only grew to a grin, "Is it working?"

"Yes." Regina pulled her girlfriend in for a heated kiss before she pushed her hard, "I can't believe you! What were you thinking!?" She pushed the blonde again and started hitting her once more.

"Babe! Come on!" Emma pushed back into the brunette and wrapped her arms around her, "Stop hitting me." Her voice was small and filled with askance.

"You're an idiot." Regina held her tight, "You could have died! What if you had fallen from the balcony, or not made the jump!?"

"I didn't fall and I did make the jump."

"But what if you didn't?"

Emma smiled, "Let's not play 'what if' lets take off your clothes and let me do what I came here for."

Regina pulled away again and stared at her girlfriend with a mixture of want, amusement and disbelief. "No."

"But… what?"

"No sex for you, Miss Emma Swan." Regina kept her smile from Emma's eyes.

"Why?"

"Because you still don't understand what you did, and until you figure it out, no sex."

"But I want it." Her brows were knit and she was looking as adorable as the blonde ever could look without trying.

"Then tell why I was—am mad."

Emma puffed her cheeks and pursed her lips from side to side before settling on the middle. Then she blew the air in her cheeks out as she looked around. She looked to the brown eyes that never failed her and found amusement covering any other emotion, "I don't know. But I know you think I'm freaking cute; I shouldn't be punished like this…"

"Yes you should."

"But why?"

Regina gave her a closed mouth smile, "You tell me."

"I…" She tried to think about all the many things that Regina yelled about the week before during their fight. She scratched her brow, "I was being a dick?"

"Why?"

She scratched her head, "Because I'm a dick sometimes; I don't know."

"No… Why did you say what you said and do what you did to be a… dick?" She rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's choice of words.

"I don't know because you won't tell me." Emma sat on the couch in the brunette's room.

"I think you do know." Regina crossed her arms and stood in front of her on the other side the coffee table to put some space between them.

Emma looked to the ladder that led up to the bed in Regina's loft-esque bedroom, "Can't we just—?"

"No. If I let you have sex with me instead of talk with me, it'd be all we ever did and we'd turn into a sad Luke Bryan song."

Emma looked at her, "Well, I mean, I don't see why we can't lay down tonight and kiss tomorrow goodbye."

"Emma…" Regina shook her head and paced a moment before settling against her vanity.

Emma stared down at the brunette, "I don't like talking. I do better showing you how I feel in a bed… or against a wall, or—"

"Enough." The brunette didn't even look at her, "If we can't talk, if we can't communicate, then there's no hope…"

"But I…" She stopped herself.

"You what?"

"I… I want you."

Regina tilted her head and walked over to her. The blonde scooted to the edge of the couch and wrapped her arms around Regina's waist, pressing her face to the brunette's stomach. Regina took Emma's cheeks and pulled her up, "Is this… are you saying something else? Like when you were trying to tell me you wanted to be exclusively and you asked me if you should cancel your upcoming dates with different women?"

Emma only buried her face in Regina's stomach.

"Are you trying to tell me that you love me?"

Emma lifted Regina's pajama shirt up a couple inches and kissed her midriff.

"You are, aren't you? Is that why you did what you did? Is that why you were ignoring me at that party and told me to fuck off so you could get drunk and 'not get harped on for a change'? It wasn't so you could get drunk. It was so you didn't have to talk to me. So you wouldn't accidentally tell someone what you were feeling…"

Emma looked up with bright green eyes. She opened her mouth to respond, but instead, she only leaned back in and kissed her midriff once more.

"Say it and I won't make you talk about your feelings for a long time." Regina whispered.

"It."

"Nice try." Regina smiled as she stroked the blonde's hair.

"I want you." Emma started. She knew that that was not what Regina was going to accept, but she wanted to make it almost painfully real for the brunette, "You're the only person I've ever wanted, and you're the only person that's ever wanted any part of me for more than a night. I've never wanted a person to be with; I've only wanted people for the nights. I've never wanted to make plans or be invited to things that required knowing if there were one or two people coming, I've avoided those parties and those people for as long as I've lived. I've never wanted to plan for a future with a person; I've always wanted to be alone. I was protecting myself; I learned at a young age that that is what I needed to do to survive. But then I met you. And I want you more than just the nights we actually get to spend together, I like going to those parties that your parents drag us to, I liked getting two tickets for prom, and more than anything…" She took an audible gulp, "I want to plan my future with you." She stood up and took the brunette's hands in her own, "I love you, Regina Mills."

Regina had tears in her eyes, but she was more than accepting of the kiss that Emma gave, "I love you too, Emma Swan."

Emma nipped at Regina's neck a moment before she pulled away, "Can we take off your clothes and let me do what I came here for?"

"As long as you stay the night." She looked into her girlfriend's green eyes and when all they did was smile at her, she turned and started up the ladder to the bed.

~0~0~0~0~0~

The next morning, Emma jerked both herself and Regina awake. She looked at the clock, "Fuck!" She started to get up, but Regina pulled her back down.

"Emma Swan, where do you think you're going?"

"Regina, you're parents are gonna be up soon. If I'm in here, I'm never gonna see the light of day again. They hate me enough as it is…"

Regina, in all of her naked glory, sat up and straddled Emma before she could reach for her clothes and make a mad dash for the closest exit. "They love you…" Emma gave her an unimpressed look, "Okay, they're not your biggest fans, but I am. And they're my biggest fans, so they like you. Listen," She kissed the blonde's pink lips, "You just let me worry about them. They never come in here anyways." She continued kissing her girlfriend until the blonde fully relaxed.

"I do love morning sex.." Emma finally said between kisses.

"Yes you do." The brunette grinned.

~0~0~0~0~0~

"Regina are you going to grace the world with your presence or is your heart still too shattered by that silly girl? It's half-passed nine."

Regina, who had just been teetering on the edge of what she assumed was going to be the biggest and best orgasm of her life was suddenly dry and numb at her mother's voice.

"Mom?" She wrapped the covers around her as tight as she could and scooted to the edge of her bed to look at her mother. She made sure to give the blonde a death look that told her not to even breathe.

"Dear do you feel ill? Your voice is strangled and your cheeks are flushed. Are you sweating?" Cora walked into the room further and started to make her way to the ladder before Regina stopped her.

"No! Mother, I'm fine. I-I-I mean I'm not feeling that well and if I'm contagious you shouldn't come near. You have too much to do this weekend for me to get you sick…"

Cora stopped at the bottom of the ladder and looked at her daughter with a suspicious eye, "Emma?" Nothing. Not even a breath. She watched her daughter with undivided attention. She watched her look to the side a bit before catching herself.

"Mom, Emma's not here…"

"Mhm," She pursed her lips, "Emma do you want ham, sausage or bacon with breakfast this morning?"

"Bacon!" It was Emma's immediate response. "I mean—Oh…." What could Emma breakfast was her kryptonite and the entire Mills family (including Bette and Babs) knew it.

Cora's face gave no hint of amusement. She was the mayor. This behavior was not tolerated around her—especially around her daughter! But this was also the girl that saved her daughter and saved her relationship with her daughter. She turned around and headed for the door once more, "Don't think that us giving you breakfast this morning will stop the sex talk and the sneaking into the house talk and the hurting my daughter again talk and the overall Henry and I want to see you succeed talk, Miss Swan."

"Yes, Madam Mayor."

The door shut and Regina turned back to the blonde, but before she could say anything Emma cut her off, "I told you I should have left a while ago."

"Nonsense, Emma." Regina leaned down and kissed her girlfriend.

**AN: So, obviously Cora is not a heinous bitch, and she does have a heart. I've noticed a lot of authors playing around with Cora's overall disposition and making her nice, agreeable or at the very least tolerable… I'd been wanting to do it for a while and since this one is completely AU anyways, I figured, why not write Cora how I tend to write Regina? Hope you enjoyed!**


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